Stories, Contemporary issues
Migraine Monster

Am trait o viata cu durerea. Probleme in zona coloanei cervicale, fac ca muschii din zona spatelui si a gatului sa se blocheze din senin. Aceste blocaje cauzeaza dureri de cap care foarte repede devin migrene. M-a durut capul de cand ma stiu, insa durerile s-au accentuat in urma cu 10 ani atat ca urmare a unui lovituri puternice cat si poate datorita aparatelor de fotografiat pe care le port pe umeri si la gat cat timp muncesc.

This story is linked to Michael si Migrena.

M-a durut cand am dat examenul de capacitate. M-a durut cand am dat bacalaureatul. M-a durut cand am dat examen la facultate. M-a durut cand m-am angajat. M-a durut cand mi-am cunoscut sotia. M-a durut cand m-am casatorit desi a fost cea mai frumoasa zi din viata mea. M-a durut cand mi-am conceput copiii si m-a durut cand acestia s-au nascut. M-a durut aproape in fiecare zi a vietii lor. M-a durut in ziua in care am descoperit ca am abilitatea de a asterne cuvinte pe hartie. M-a durut in ziua in care am realizat prima imagine. M-a durut in fiecare zi in care am sarit in ajutorul comunitatilor vulnerabile.

In ultimii ani, ajunsesem sa apelez la ambulanta de cel putin 2-3 ori pe luna. 

La varsta de 50 de ani, dupa mai multe incercari de a rezolva aceasta situatie, incercari soldate cel mult cu o crestere in greutate de 15 kilograme, m-am internat intr-un spital din Germania. 

 

In timpul unei sedinte initiale cu un psiholog am simtit cum migrena care deja pusese stapanire pe mine, devine din ce in ce mai puternica.

M-am albit la fata si am inceput sa vorbesc tot mai incet. M-a intrebat daca vreau sa ma opresc insa am raspuns ca nu, ca putem sa continuam. La un moment dat m-am ridicat. Cand durerea este prea mare, daca stau jos simt ca lesin si imi vine sa vars. In picioare fiind continuam sa vorbesc. Din cabinetul ei am ajuns direct la perfuzii. 

Ulterior, dupa externare am citit raportul medical. Doctorul mentiona ca in pofida durerii imi doream sa duc sedinta pana la capat. 

La fel facusem toata viata. Timp de 40 de ani, nu am lasat nimic nedus pana la capat, nu am lasat pe nimeni sa stie ca ma doare ceva. Daca erai langa mine, munceam sau ne distram si radeam si nu stiai nimic decat daca se intampla sa ramai pana sosea salvarea. 

Dupa 20 de casatorie, sotia mea isi dadea seama ca nu ma simt bine pentru ca, la fel ca un jucator de pocker, aveam un gest care ma dadea de gol: imi apasam cu doua degete gatul. 

Dedic acest documentar tuturor celor care sufera. 

Dedic acest documentar tuturor celor pe care i-am suparat cu ceva in acele momente de cumplita durere si care probabil nu au inteles niciodata de ce nu am avut inca un pic de rabdare. Acestora le cer iertare. 

Dedic acest material insa, mai presus de orice, tuturor celor care neavand nici cea mai mica idee despre durerile cu care ma confruntam, au ales sa imi ramana alaturi, au avut forta si inteligenta sa treaca peste monstrul din mine pentru a se bucura, pana la capat, de omul din mine.

Migraine Monster
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KONIGSTEIN, GERMANY - JUL 23: Michael, a student and capoeira practitioner struggles with ongoing migraine attacks, gets himself committed for treatment in a clinic in Germany, July 23, 2017. Photography by Mugur Varzariu/Getty Images/Newsweek.
KONIGSTEIN, GERMANY - JUL 28: Michael, a student and capoeira practitioner struggling with ongoing migraine attacks in a clinic in Germany on July 27, 2017. Michael also diagnostic with autism, undergoes a combination of medicaments, physiotherapy, psychology sessions, acupuncture and anesthesia injections during his two weeks attempt to cure or at least reduce the migraine attacks. Photography by Mugur Varzariu/Getty Images/Newsweek.
KONIGSTEIN, GERMANY - JUL 28: Michael, a student and capoeira practitioner struggles with ongoing migraine attacks, gets himself committed for treatment in a clinic in Germany, July 28, 2017. Michael also diagnostic with autism, undergoes a combination of medicaments, physiotherapy, psychology sessions, acupuncture and anesthesia injections during his two weeks attempt to cure or at least reduce the migraine attacks. Photography by Mugur Varzariu/Getty Images/Newsweek.
KONIGSTEIN, GERMANY - JUL 23: Michael, a student and capoeira practitioner struggles with ongoing migraine attacks, gets himself committed for treatment in a clinic in Germany, July 23, 2017. Photography by Mugur Varzariu/Getty Images/Newsweek.
KONIGSTEIN, GERMANY - JUL 28: Michael, a student and capoeira practitioner struggles with ongoing migraine attacks, gets himself committed for treatment in a clinic in Germany, July 28, 2017. Michael also diagnostic with autism, undergoes a combination of medicaments, physiotherapy, psychology sessions, acupuncture and anesthesia injections during his two weeks attempt to cure or at least reduce the migraine attacks. Photography by Mugur Varzariu/Getty Images/Newsweek.
KONIGSTEIN, GERMANY - JUL 28: Michael, a student and capoeira practitioner struggles with ongoing migraine attacks, gets himself committed for treatment in a clinic in Germany, July 28, 2017. Michael also diagnostic with autism, undergoes a combination of medicaments, physiotherapy, psychology sessions, acupuncture and anesthesia injections during his two weeks attempt to cure or at least reduce the migraine attacks. Photography by Mugur Varzariu/Getty Images/Newsweek.
KONIGSTEIN, GERMANY - JUL 25: Michael, a student and capoeira practitioner struggling with ongoing migraine attacks, under a IR heat lamp in a clinic in Germany, on July 25, 2017. Michael also diagnostic with autism, undergoes a combination of medicaments, physiotherapy, psychology sessions, acupuncture and anaesteshia injections during his two weeks attempt to cure or at least reduce the migraine attacks. Photography by Mugur Varzariu/Getty Images/Newsweek.
KONIGSTEIN, GERMANY - JUL 28: Michael, a student and capoeira practitioner struggling with ongoing migraine attacks in a clinic in Germany on July 27, 2017. Michael also diagnostic with autism, undergoes a combination of medicaments, physiotherapy, psychology sessions, acupuncture and anesthesia injections during his two weeks attempt to cure or at least reduce the migraine attacks. Photography by Mugur Varzariu/Getty Images/Newsweek.
KONIGSTEIN, GERMANY - JUL 22: Michael, a student and capoeira practitioner, struggling with ongoing migraine attacks, uses a brain impulses device to calm a migraine in his room in a clinic in Germany on July 22, 2017. Michael also diagnostic with autism, undergoes a combination of medicaments, physiotherapy, psychology sessions, acupuncture and anesthesia injections during his two weeks attempt to cure or at least reduce the migraine attacks. Photography by Mugur Varzariu/Getty Images/Newsweek.
KONIGSTEIN, GERMANY - JUL 28: Michael, a student and capoeira practitioner struggling with ongoing migraine attacks in a clinic in Germany on July 28, 2017. Michael also diagnostic with autism, undergoes a combination of medicaments, physiotherapy, psychology sessions, acupuncture and anesthesia injections during his two weeks attempt to cure or at least reduce the migraine attacks. Photography by Mugur Varzariu/Getty Images/Newsweek.
KONIGSTEIN, GERMANY - JUL 29: Michael, a student and capoeira practitioner struggling with ongoing migraine attacks, on the balcony of his room in a clinic in Germany, on July 29, 2017. Michael also diagnostic with autism, undergoes a combination of medicaments, physiotherapy, psychology sessions, acupuncture and anesthesia injections during his two weeks attempt to cure or at least reduce the migraine attacks. Photography by Mugur Varzariu/Getty Images/Newsweek.
KONIGSTEIN, GERMANY - JUL 18: Self-portrait, five days into my treatment, July 18, 2020. Photography by Mugur Varzariu/Getty Images/Newsweek.
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